Chapter 15: Families and Intimate Relationships

Table of Contents

1. Families In Global Perspective
2. Theoretical Perspectives On Families
3. Developing Intimate Relationships And Establishing Families
4. Child-Related Family Issues And Parenting
5. Transitions And Problems In Families
6. Diversity In Families
7. Family Issues In The Future

I. Families In Global Perspective

1. Families are relationships in which people live together with commitment, form an economic unit and care for any young, and consider their identity to be significantly attached to the group.
   
   
2. Family Structure
   1. In preindustrial societies, the primary social organization is through kinship-a social network of people based on common ancestry, marriage, or adoption.

2. In industrialized societies, other social institutions fulfil some functions previously taken care of by kinship ties; families are responsible primarily for regulating sexual activity, socializing children, and providing affection and companionship for family members.
   
   
3. Many of us will be members of two types of families: a family of orientation (the family into which we are born or adopted and in which early socialization usually takes place) and a family of procreation (the family we form by having or adopting children).
   
   
4. According to Kath Weston, many gay men and lesbians have families we choose arrangements that include intimate relationships between couples and close relationships among other couples and other adults and children.
   
   
5. Extended and Nuclear Families
   1. An extended family is a family unit composed of relatives (such as grandparents, uncles, and aunts) in addition to parents and children who live in the same household.

2. A nuclear family is a family composed of one or two parents and their dependent children, all of whom live apart from other relatives.
   
   
3. Marriage Patterns
   1. Marriage is a legally recognized and/or socially approved arrangement between two or more individuals that carries certain rights and obligations and usually involves sexual activity.
      
      
   2. In Canada, monogamy-a marriage between a woman and a man-is the only form of marriage sanctioned by law.
      
      
   3. Polygamy is the concurrent marriage of a person of one sex with two or more members of the opposite sex.
      1. The most prevalent form of polygamy is polygyny-the concurrent marriage of one man with two or more women (e.g., some Islamic societies in Africa and Asia).

2. Polyandry-the marriage of one woman with two or more men-is very rare.
   
   
4. Descent and Inheritance
   1. In preindustrial societies, kinship is usually traced through one parent.
      1. The most common pattern of unilineal descent is patrilineal descent-tracing descent through the father's side of the family-whereby a legitimate son inherits his father's property and sometimes his position upon the father's death.
         
         
      2. Matrilineal descent traces descent through the mother's side of the family; however, inheritance of property and position usually is traced from the maternal uncle (mother's brother) to his nephew (mother's son).
         
         
   2. In industrial societies kinship usually is traced through both parents; bilateral descent is a system of tracing descent through both the mother's and father's sides of the family.
      
      
5. Power and Authority in Families
   1. Patriarchal family: a family structure in which authority is held by the eldest male (usually the father), who acts as head of the household and holds power over the women and children.
      
      
   2. Matriarchal family: a family structure in which authority is held by the eldest female (usually the mother), who acts as head of the household.

3. Egalitarian family: a family structure in which both partners share power and authority equally.

II. Theoretical Perspectives On Families

1. The sociology of family is the subdiscipline of sociology that attempts to describe and explain patterns of family life and variations in family structure.
   
   
2. Functionalist Perspectives
   1. The family is important in maintaining the stability of society and the well-being of individuals.

2. According to Durkheim, both marriage and society involve a mental and moral fusion of individuals; division of labour contributes to greater efficiency in all areas of life.
   
   
3. Talcott Parsons further defined the division of labour in families: the husband/father fulfils the instrumental role (meeting the family's economic needs, making important decisions, and providing leadership) while the wife/mother fulfils the expressive role (doing housework, caring for children, and meeting the emotional needs of family members).

4. Four key functions of families in advanced industrial societies are: (a) sexual regulation, (b) socialization, (c) economic and psychological support for members, and (d) provision of social status and reputation.
   
   
3. Conflict and Feminist Perspectives
   1. Families are a primary source of inequality; conflict exists within families over values, goals, and access to resources and power.
      
      
   2. According to some conflict theorists, families in capitalist economies are similar to workers in a factory: women are dominated at home by men the same way workers are dominated by capitalists in factories; reproduction of children and care for family members at home reinforces the subordination of women through unpaid (and devalued) labour.
      
      
4. Feminist Perspectives
   1. Feminist perspectives focus on patriarchy, rather than class, because men's domination over women existed long before private ownership of property; contemporary subordination is rooted in men's control over women's labour power.
      
      
   2. Family violence may be viewed as a conscious strategy used by men to control women and perpetuate inequality; to remedy wife battering, the subordination of women has to be eliminated.
      
      
5. Interactionist Perspectives
   1. Interactionists examine the roles of husbands, wives, and children as they act out their own parts and react to the actions of others.
      
      
   2. According to Peter Berger and Hansfried Kellner, interaction between marital partners contributes to a shared reality: newlyweds bring separate identities to a marriage but gradually construct a shared reality as a couple.
      
      
   3. According to Jessie Bernard, women and men experience marriage differently: there is a his marriage and her marriage.

4. Definitions concerning family violence are socially constructed and have an effect on how people are treated.

III. Developing Intimate Relationships And Establishing Families

1. Love and Intimacy
   1. Although the ideal culture emphasizes romantic love, men and women may not share the same perceptions about love: women tend to express their feelings verbally, while men tend to express their love through nonverbal actions.
      
      
   2. Love and intimacy are closely intertwined. Intimacy may be psychic (the sharing of minds), sexual, or both.
      
      
   3. Scholars suggest that there are six dominant sexual standards in North America:
      1. Heterosexual: attraction is limited to members of the opposite sex;
      2. Romantic: sex and love should go together;
      3. Marital: marriage should include sex;
      4. Two-person: sex must involve two (but no more than two) people;
      5. Coital: sexual intercourse should occur between a man and a woman, with coitus the ultimate sexual act; and
      6. Orgasmic: people should experience orgasm as the climax of sexual interactions; if not, something is wrong.
         
         
2. Cohabitation and Common-Law Families
   1. Cohabitation refers to a couple's living together without being legally married.
      
      
   2. Persons most likely to cohabit are under age 45, have been married before, or are older individuals who do not want to lose financial benefits (such as retirement benefits) that are contingent upon not remarrying.
      
      
3. Marriage
   1. Couples marry for reasons such as being in love, desiring companionship and sex, wanting to have children, feeling social pressure, attempting to escape from their parents' home, or believing they will have greater resources if they get married.
      
      
   2. Most people engage in homogamy-the pattern of individuals marrying those who have similar characteristics, such as race/ethnicity, religious background, age, education, or social class.
      
      
   3. Communication and support are crucial to the success of marriages; problems that cause the most concern are partners who are emotionally distant, poor communication, and lack of companionship.
      
      
4. Housework
   1. Over 60% of all Canadian marriages are dual-earner families-marriages in which both spouses are in the labour force. Most employed women hold full-time, year-round jobs.
      
      
   2. Many married women also have a second shift-the domestic work that employed women perform at home after they complete their workday on the job.
      1. Recently, more husbands have attempted to share some household work and child-care responsibilities, especially in families in which the wife's earnings are essential to family finances.
         
         
      2. However, recurring tasks that have specific times for completion (bathing a child or cooking a meal) are more likely to be the women's responsibility; men are more likely to do the periodic tasks that have no highly structured schedule (mowing the lawn or changing the oil in the car).

3. Women employed full-time who are single parents probably have the greatest burden of all; they have complete responsibility for the children and household, often with little or no help from ex-husbands or relatives.

IV. Child-Related Family Issues And Parenting

1. Deciding to Have Children
   1. Couples deciding not to have children may consider themselves child-free, while those who do not produce children through no choice of their own may consider themselves childless.
2. Adoption
   1. Adoption is a legal process through which rights and duties of parenting are transferred from a child's biological and/or legal parents to new legal parents.

3. New Reproductive Technologies
   1. The availability of new reproductive technologies is having a dramatic impact on traditional concepts of the family and parenthood. The three basic categories of these technologies are: (1) those that prevent birth; (2) those that monitor new life; and (3) those that aid conception. Each of these involves very difficult ethical issues.

4. Single Parenting
   1. The proportion of single parent families is growing. It is estimated that up to one-third of all Canadian mothers will be single parents at some stage in their lives. In 1995 about 14 percent of families were headed by single parents. The majority of these families are headed by a mother.
      
      
   2. Children from single parent families have many disadvantages: they are less likely to do well academically, and they have higher rates of school dropout, divorce, and drug and alcohol abuse. These problems are more likely the result of poverty than of the absence of a parent.

V. Transitions And Problems In Families

1. Violence in Families: Wife and Child Abuse
   1. Violence between men and women in the home is often referred to as spouse abuse or domestic violence. Child abuse refers to physical or sexual abuse or neglect by a parent or caregiver.
      
      
   2. Only within the last few decades have various forms of domestic violence been defined as intolerable criminal offences. The women's movement has been responsible for bringing this issue into the public and political arena in the 1970s.
      
      
   3. Despite legislative changes and efforts to change attitudes, violence continues to be a much too common feature in family life. The research indicates that many incidents of child and spousal abuse remain hidden in the private domain of the family home.
      
      
2. Divorce
   1. Divorce is the legal process of dissolving a marriage that allows former spouses to remarry if they so choose. Most divorces are based on irreconcilable differences (there has been a breakdown of the marital relationship for which neither partner is specifically blamed).
      
      
   2. Approximately 150,000 marriages occur each year in Canada, and about 79,000 divorces are granted. However, the couples who are divorced in any given year are very unlikely to come from the group who married that year.
      
      
   3. Causes of Divorce
      1. At the macrolevel, societal factors contributing to higher rates of divorce include changes in social institutions such as religion and law.
         
         
      2. At the microlevel, characteristics that appear to contribute to divorce are: (1) marriage at an early age (15 to 19 years old); (2) a short acquaintanceship before marriage; (3) disapproval of the marriage by relatives and friends; (4) limited economic resources; (5) having a high-school education or less; (6) parents who are divorced or have unhappy marriages; (7) the presence of children (depending on their gender and age) at the beginning of the marriage.
         
         
   4. Consequences of Divorce
      1. By age 16, about one in every three white and two in every three African American children will experience divorce within their families. Some children experience more than one divorce during their childhood because one or both of their parents may remarry and subsequently divorce again.
         
         
      2. Divorce changes relationships for other relatives, especially grandparents.
         
         
      3. The consequences of divorce are not entirely negative. For some people divorce may be an opportunity to terminate destructive or violent relationships. For others it may represent a means to achieve personal growth by enabling them to manage their lives and establish their own identity.
         
         
3. Remarriage
   1. Most people who divorce get remarried: more than 40% of all marriages take place between previously married brides and/or grooms, and about half of all persons who divorce before age 35 will remarry within three years.

2. Most divorced people remarry others who have been divorced. At all ages, a greater proportion of men than women remarry and often relatively soon after divorce. Among women, those who divorce at younger ages are more likely to remarry than are those who are older; women with a college degree and without children are less likely to remarry.

VI. Diversity In Families

1. Gay and Lesbian Families
   1. Lesbians and gay men grow up in families, establish long-lasting, committed, emotional relationships, and sometimes become parents. Discussions of such relationships, though, have been excluded from discussions of the family. This notion of the family as only heterosexual is heterosexist-the attitude in which heterosexuality is considered to be the only valid form of sexual behaviour, and gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals are inferior to heterosexual people.
      
      
   2. Recently some gay and lesbian activists have sought recognition of domestic partnerships-household partnerships in which an unmarried couple lives together in a committed, sexually intimate relationship and is granted the same rights and benefits as those accorded to married heterosexual couples.
      
      
   3. There are several encouraging signs for gay men and lesbians in domestic partnerships: a growing number of parents are accepting their child's sexual orientation, and several high-profile court challenges have pushed the public debate toward considering gay and lesbian spouses as such.
      
      
2. Singlehood
   1. Recent trends suggest that more and more Canadians are remaining single for longer. In Canada, approximately 25% of household are single-person households.
   2. Some never-married single remain single by choice-friends and personal growth are valued more highly than marriage and children. Other never-married singles remain single out of necessity, for instance, out of economic necessity.
3. Aboriginal Families
   1. Prior to the arrival of Europeans, Aboriginal families were highly organized and stable. The extended family was seen as central to the community and to each individual. The family unit was the economic cornerstone of Aboriginal societies.

2. The generations of cultural and spiritual destruction that followed colonization have left the family in crisis. Residential schools and child welfare agencies are two institutions that played key roles in weakening the Aboriginal family.
   
   
3. The strength of native political and cultural movements over the past decade have led to a strengthening of the family, but much remains to be done to rebuild family structure in many Native communities.

VII. Family Issues In The Future

1. Some people believe that the family as we know it is doomed; others believe that a return to traditional family values will save this social institution and create greater stability in society.
   
   
2. Ellen Gee argues that family diversity should be seen as a normal state of affairs. Regardless of the problems facing families, the family remains a central institution. Over three-quarters of Canadians regard the family as the most important thing in their lives, more important than their career or their religion.
   
   
3. Sociologists see a number of trends in family life:
   1. An increase in family diversity.
   2. An increase in dual-earner families which may lead to greater equality between men and women.
   3. Growing attention will be paid to the problem of family violence.
   4. Society will have to come to grips with the new reproductive technologies.

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